Wednesday, September 21, 2011


A few months ago I mentioned how Jesse's big job had come to an end; then mine did too. Within a month of each other. I know, right? So, I was worried; and I tried to cast my cares upon the Lord the best that I could and muddle through. I thought it might be time for an update on that subject and to thank you for all your prayers and support. I'm not sure if I've mentioned on here before that Jesse works for himself in the construction/remodeling industry. It's actually been good for us for the most part. He's in school part time and he's able to set his own hours so that he can work around his crazy class schedule. I'd love to tell you that he's landed a ginormous remodeling job that'll keep him busy until he's graduated, but that's not the case.

What I can say though, is that God's been taking care of us. There have been weeks without work, and then weeks with work. There was a freak accident in which a moving company ran over newly laid sod which, in turn, has led to more jobs with the accident-prone moving company. There have been friends that have kindly thought of Jesse when they've needed work done and there have been a couple of times when family has blessed us with groceries.

Through all of this, I can see God's hand. I can truly say now, in the midst of financial struggles, that God does own the cattle on a thousand hills and that He surely has us in His hands. This is not the prosperity gospel. We do not believe that God has to help us make our house payment in order to somehow reward us for trusting Him with our future/tithing/being obedient, good little Christians. And I suppose that tomorrow (okay, perhaps the day after tomorrow... don't worry too much, Mom!) the bottom could fall out and we could have to sell our home or be foreclosed on. But for right now, He is supplying all our needs and even some of our wants from time to time.

Have we struggled? Absolutely! Have I questioned my calling to be a full-time stay-at-home mama? At times. But only for a few brief seconds. I do realize that if God calls us to something, He will provide. Today I sat through BSF and heard yet again "God will empower you to do the work He has called you to." And certainly He has. He has called me to train my children in Him and He is providing us with the means to do so. Sometimes, one day at a time, but nevertheless, He is literally giving us our daily bread.

It is something I have never wanted to do... pray that prayer so literally but one I am learning to love. It has been fun to watch and see just how He's going to do it, and then sometimes, He just blows us away by His generosity toward us. One of those times has something to do with the dress. (I hope to one day explain more about it. But for right now, I'm just watching and waiting to see what God does with it.) Still, it's laugh out loud amazement at how God works whenever I think of this dress. I could name this dress Isaac, I suppose.

I've been hearing a lot about suffering over the past month. All over the place. It's gotten to the point I find myself laughing when I read or hear something new. At first, I thought, "Oh, I really needed this because it's timely." But I've grown to realize the trials that our family is experiencing are minimal compared to other families. Now I sometimes, think, "Here's that same thread again about suffering... is there a bigger trial coming my way?" Some might say that's not a good question to ask as though somehow you're asking for it when you say that. But here's the kicker: If necessary, I am. I'm willing for more trials if it will bring me closer to Him.

That's what life is all about- Christ. Knowing Him, glorifying Him, making His Name great is what it's all about. And so, if I can some how know Him more in the midst of suffering shouldn't I ask for suffering? If His Name is glorified through a trial I face, should I not go beyond the step of just looking for the good He's working through it and ask for more? No, not: "Send me more trials, God." But: "Use whatever means necessary to grow me closer to You and to bring glory to Yourself."

Do I dare to pray it? Do I dare not? Well, as I was reminded today, Jesus is returning and I should act like it. So, pour it on, God! I want to grow closer to You through whatever means necessary. I want You to be able to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant" upon Your return!


Sarah said...

Beautifully written! Stay encouraged! Your faith encourages me. I will be praying!

Elisabeth said...

Ditto that, Bethany. The last three paragraphs that is. :) I'm so glad you are able to put what's in my mind in writing.

Yoly said...

I love the way you write and express your love for Jesus :)Praying for your family!

Nicole said...

right there with ya girl!

sometimes waiting and trusting is so hard.

hang in there!