Learning to Love Me

Today I learned that Starbucks loves me as much as I love them....

But in all seriousness... did you notice the size of this cup?  Yep, that's right.  It's a tall.  Most people who know me well, know that I'm a venti type girl... I really love my coffee.  But I've recently discovered that a tall is three points if I save with the skim and splurge with the real syrup. 

And did you notice that I just said "points"? That's right, I'm doing Weight Watchers.  And although there are days like today, "Cashew Chicken Night," that only happen once a year... and where I didn't write down everything I ate.  (The first time in two weeks.)  I'm trying really hard to start loving myself.  Now, I know that some people may say if you love yourself then you'd learn to accept the weight you're at and realize that you're beautiful the way God created you.  But I don't think this is how God created me, I think I've created the mess I'm in on my own.  And I also believe that's because I haven't loved myself enough to take the time and care necessary to keep myself healthy.

Let's take a look.  This is Jesse and I a little over 7 years ago... our engagement photo.  A couple of years ago, a friend saw this photo and asked me who these people were.  (That would have only been about 5 years after it was taken.)  Totally frustrating!

But to be honest, it does not look a lot like me anymore.  I'm healthy here... and I'm not anymore.  And you guys (all 2 of you who are reading this...thank you!), as hard as this is to admit.  I need help to get healthy and to learn to love myself enough to take care of me.  I know I have to do this for myself.  But I also need to do it for her because I want her to have a better relationship with food than I do now and I want to model to her what it means to love oneself.

So, although I'm not going to update you all every single time I lose half a pound, I am going to share my journey from time-to-time so that you can keep me in your prayers. (If you don't mind.)