Sunday, February 14, 2010

Learning to Love Me

Today I learned that Starbucks loves me as much as I love them....

But in all seriousness... did you notice the size of this cup?  Yep, that's right.  It's a tall.  Most people who know me well, know that I'm a venti type girl... I really love my coffee.  But I've recently discovered that a tall is three points if I save with the skim and splurge with the real syrup. 

And did you notice that I just said "points"? That's right, I'm doing Weight Watchers.  And although there are days like today, "Cashew Chicken Night," that only happen once a year... and where I didn't write down everything I ate.  (The first time in two weeks.)  I'm trying really hard to start loving myself.  Now, I know that some people may say if you love yourself then you'd learn to accept the weight you're at and realize that you're beautiful the way God created you.  But I don't think this is how God created me, I think I've created the mess I'm in on my own.  And I also believe that's because I haven't loved myself enough to take the time and care necessary to keep myself healthy.

Let's take a look.  This is Jesse and I a little over 7 years ago... our engagement photo.  A couple of years ago, a friend saw this photo and asked me who these people were.  (That would have only been about 5 years after it was taken.)  Totally frustrating!
But to be honest, it does not look a lot like me anymore.  I'm healthy here... and I'm not anymore.  And you guys (all 2 of you who are reading this...thank you!), as hard as this is to admit.  I need help to get healthy and to learn to love myself enough to take care of me.  I know I have to do this for myself.  But I also need to do it for her because I want her to have a better relationship with food than I do now and I want to model to her what it means to love oneself.

So, although I'm not going to update you all every single time I lose half a pound, I am going to share my journey from time-to-time so that you can keep me in your prayers. (If you don't mind.)


Anonymous said...

Good for you, Bethany! I didn't realize until I was 40ish that taking care of myself wasn't an option but a necessity. It's hard but so worth it.

Dawna Blanton

Emily said...

Very well said Bethany! That's a hard thing to share. Totally support you in it and am inspired also to take time to take care too!


Jennifer said...

Thank you for your honesty and transparency Bethany!
So often our needs (physical, mental and spiritual) are put on the back burner and all our focus is directed towards our children, spouses, family, friends and church.
Recently, a friend reminded me of the directions the stewardess gives before take-off "Place and secure your oxygen mask before you place a mask on your child or anyone else!" If you aren't getting the "oxygen" you need, you will not be able to take care of the needs of someone else efficiently and effectively.
I am so proud you are focusing on and taking care of yourself! I will be praying for you and am here for encouragement.
I love you,
Jennifer <><

Shawn said...

Oh, Bethany, that's awesome! There's a reason why I only have one wedding picture in my house, because someone asked who we were in that picture, too. I was 22 when I got married, a far cry from the 28 that I am now...the babies I have born are worth it, but I also know that I have an unhealthy relationship with sugar. I eat it when I am stressed, bored, lonely...I will be looking for advice when it's time to lose post-baby weight. Kudos to you for investing in yourself. You are worth it.

Mindy M. Harris said...

Ok apparently I was signed in as Shawn, but it's me, Mindy!