What holiday is this?

Most people in the US celebrated this past Valentine's Day in the usual way: chocolate, flowers, dining and (hopefully) some time with the ones they loved.  However, since Valentine's Day was on a Sunday this year, I knew I needed to do something special for "my kids."  "My kids" aren't really mine, but for some reason I haven't quite figured out yet, their parents entrust them to me once a week for spiritual development.  Quite the responsibility... there are days when I question if I'm succeeding with my own, let alone my others.  But I feel blessed by the challenge.

Fortunately, I don't have a cookie cutter church (you know the kind in the suburbs where people have exactly 2.3 kids and a dog, the kind where everyone looks alike and all shop at  the same stores.) There's nothing (in essence) wrong with a cookie cutter church, in fact Jesse and I used to attend one that we really enjoyed, but there's a lot more stretching to be had if you're not in one.  And for that I'm appreciative.  Anyway, since my church isn't cookie cutter, neither are the kids.  One of my favorite parts of my church is the fact that we have so many cultural backgrounds.  I find that it challenges me not to ask just "What's culturally correct?" but "What's biblically correct?" But that's not what I'm really writing about today.  What I'm writing about is the fact that this Valentine's Day was also Chinese New Year. 

Some of "my kids," came dressed in beautiful brocade outfits with mandarin collars.  (And I was jealous.) And then they told me about the money they were receiving for Chinese New Year. (Then, all my non-Chinese kids were also jealous.)  But my surprise for everyone seemed to even the playing field and honor both holidays at the same time.

Let me stop right there and introduce you to the Pioneer Woman.  She's pretty incredible, lives somewhere on a vast stretch of land in Oklahoma with her cattle rancher husband and 4 very cute kids. She's an incredible blogger and photographer.  And between all of the work she does running a ranch and homeschooling her kids, she finds time to bake and cook... and write her own cookbook.  Did I mention that she has the most beautiful shade of red hair that I've ever seen.  I really hate love her.  Anyway, right after I joined Weight Watchers, she listed a Life by Chocolate Cupcake recipe that looked to-die-for.  So, I calculated the points (15) and I get like 22 a day so that just really wasn't going to work for me. 

I decided right then and there to save my "extra points" for Valentine's Day and make these.  And give all but one of them away.  Which is exactly what I did.  It was hard (not the making part, but the sharing), but the kids enjoyed them, my family enjoyed them (all but Diego who just ate the ganache off the top and the kiss out of the middle).  And then I put them into these containers.  And my Chinese kids thought I had made the cupcakes just for them.  And they can think that.

But now, you all know the truth.  (And yes, saving up points was most definitely worth it.)  Hope you all had a Happy Chinese Valentine's New Day Year! 

Learning to Love Me

Today I learned that Starbucks loves me as much as I love them....

But in all seriousness... did you notice the size of this cup?  Yep, that's right.  It's a tall.  Most people who know me well, know that I'm a venti type girl... I really love my coffee.  But I've recently discovered that a tall is three points if I save with the skim and splurge with the real syrup. 

And did you notice that I just said "points"? That's right, I'm doing Weight Watchers.  And although there are days like today, "Cashew Chicken Night," that only happen once a year... and where I didn't write down everything I ate.  (The first time in two weeks.)  I'm trying really hard to start loving myself.  Now, I know that some people may say if you love yourself then you'd learn to accept the weight you're at and realize that you're beautiful the way God created you.  But I don't think this is how God created me, I think I've created the mess I'm in on my own.  And I also believe that's because I haven't loved myself enough to take the time and care necessary to keep myself healthy.

Let's take a look.  This is Jesse and I a little over 7 years ago... our engagement photo.  A couple of years ago, a friend saw this photo and asked me who these people were.  (That would have only been about 5 years after it was taken.)  Totally frustrating!

But to be honest, it does not look a lot like me anymore.  I'm healthy here... and I'm not anymore.  And you guys (all 2 of you who are reading this...thank you!), as hard as this is to admit.  I need help to get healthy and to learn to love myself enough to take care of me.  I know I have to do this for myself.  But I also need to do it for her because I want her to have a better relationship with food than I do now and I want to model to her what it means to love oneself.

So, although I'm not going to update you all every single time I lose half a pound, I am going to share my journey from time-to-time so that you can keep me in your prayers. (If you don't mind.)

My Little Valentine

Diego's first Valentine's Party was this Thursday at his preschool. I was excited because I love Valentine's Day and I always enjoyed making valentines as a kid. I was certain that I wanted Diego to have the experience of making them for his classmates. I wasn't sure what sort of project he should make though. I knew that I didn't want him to bring food of any kind (because every time it's his turn to bring snacks kid-who's-allergic-to-everything's mom always glares at me) but, I didn't have any other ideas. Then I ran across this at The Long Thread and knew it was perfect! I actually remembered making something similar when I was a kid and knew everyone would love them.

I found the silicone heart muffin pan at Target that she used for her project, but it was $10 and I didn't know if I wanted to invest that much money into it. So, when I walked over to the cheapy section and found what looked like silicone heart ice-cube trays for $2.50, I thought, "Perfect!" and bought them instead. Lesson #1. If it doesn't say silicone, it probably isn't. Lesson #2. Ice-cube trays aren't really meant to be used in the microwave. Lesson #3. Don't try to complete a project like this in the last 45 minutes before you're supposed to leave for school.

After the first tray melted onto the turn-plate, I decided to fill all the hearts on the second go around. The second tray did much better except for the fact that towards the end of the melting process, my microwave over-heated and stopped working. Fortunately, the crayons were melted enough by that point that they were okay. I pulled the turn-plate out and put the whole thing into the fridge to speed the cooling process. (I still haven't tried to see if the microwave is working again.) We were 15 minutes late to school and I didn't have a shower, but I think they turned out pretty cute. Diego signed his name on the back of all 14... his little hand was tired by the time he was done, but I think it was important to for him to do it himself.


When I picked him up he was excited. He had candy in his bag that he made. (Do you see all of the stickers he used? Most of the other kids used about 5... talk about a sticker-hog!) He was ready to eat it the second I picked him up, but I made him wait until we got home and put Eliana down for a nap.

Then we went through all of his valentines together. Now, I was prepared for some store-bought valentines... I am a teacher after all. (But every single one? Really? And they were all signed by their parents. Good grief!) But this one here, took the cake. It read: "You're a glittering princess, Valentine!" When a three-year-old recognizes that there's something wrong with a valentine... it's seriously wrong! "I'm not a princess! I'm a big-boy!"

And just to prove it: "Rraaahhhrrr!"